Pride Month 2023
Sam and Amy Porter, 2016
Pregnant with their eldest child, Frankie.
This blog post is written by Amy Porter, Tiny HeartsCan’s Executive Director.
”During Pride Month (June), it’s not uncommon to see many corporations and organizations change their logos to rainbow colours. As I worked on Tiny HeartsCan’s pride logo, a flood of thoughts and emotions raced through my brain.
Being a queer and non-binary parent within the birthing health and education community has definitely been daunting. My experience in getting pregnant, living as a pregnant person, and navigating my postpartum body has varied greatly from the majority of self-identifying women that I know personally. Have you ever showed up to an event only to find out that you’re vastly under-dressed? Or imagine showing up to play at a football match only to realize that they really meant soccer. Throughout my fertility and pregnancy journeys, I have consistently felt out of place - from the lack of androgynous maternity clothes to absolutely HATING breastfeeding.
When I told my employer that I was pregnant, she told me, “There must be something in the water,” as a few of my co-workers had also become pregnant, to which I retorted, “Very expensive and imported water, in my case.” This seemingly harmless comment, although meant with good intention, completely dismissed my lived experience of actively working towards getting pregnant with the use of a fertility clinic. It dismissed the countless appointments, invasive testing, searching through donor registries for the RIGHT person, the cost of it all… all of it was work and incredibly clinical because that’s how we had to do it. No romance, just science.
Finding maternity clothes was a challenge in and of itself. I am a visibly “different” human and it seemed like all of the pregnancy clothes out there were to have me adorned in flowers. Most of the time, I stuck to the one pair of pregnancy jeans that I found that had pockets (seriously… GIVE US POCKETS) and large tank tops, or the ONE black v-neck t-shirt I had. It felt like I was the only person dressed up daily in Halloween outfits - embarrassed, out of place, and not myself. Then on top of all of this “otherness,” we learned that our son would be born with a critical heart defect.
As I realized the importance of my son’s story, I struggled wondering, who will listen to me? Why would anyone listen to a visibly different, non-binary person talk about pregnancy in a world that is dominated by cis-hetero women?
In a sea of rainbow-dominated corporate logos, I wanted to take the opportunity to speak about how Tiny HeartsCan Foundation will support members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community during pride month and beyond.
We will always strive to use inclusive language in our messaging, shifting away from using the term “maternal” to “birthing parent.”
Our organization will be a safe place for all 2SLGBTQ+ people to share their experiences and to find support.
We aim to ensure that ALL birthing parents receive their child’s CHD diagnosis before birth. Heart defects don’t discriminate against gender, gender expression, race, sexual orientation, or otherwise. EVERY person deserves an in-depth evaluation of their fetus’ heart.
In light of it also being National Indigenous History Month, we also acknowledge that our Indigenous Communities also need additional support in prenatal CHD detection and that accessible care continues to be a barrier for many.
As our organization grows, we will grow with you. Your experiences, your stories, and your children matter. Happy June, everyone.”
